By Bob Beanblossom
28 December 2017
It seems to me that sometimes we need to fall back and regroup, to put theory and opinion aside temporarily and look at life as it is. This is not to minimize these, but help assure that they actually have strong basis in the “real world.
I’m going to tell you a story. This is not a “Once upon a time” story. It is not suitable for all readers and you might consider your audience before you share it.
This story begins, “Once, a few years ago, in Tipton County, Tennessee . . .” It is real. Tragically real. Before I tell you the story, I want you to know that it has a moral, a purpose in two parts, bound together–each distinct, but inseparable: 1) actions have consequences, and 2) the phrase, “It can’t happen to me” is a bold lie that leads to self-destruction.
The Brief Story of a Man Called Bones
Once, a few years ago, in Tipton County, Tennessee, I was called out to join a small team of investigators from the local sheriff’s office. We were there to recover evidence from what appeared to be a suicide. When I arrived, the team was on hands and knees in and around a dry creek bed searching for evidence and remains. A yellow electrical cord was secured to a tree limb hanging out over the creek bed. At the other end was an empty loop too far above the ground to reach. About all that remained of a young man were scattered bones, separated and returning to the natural elements from which they came. The work of time had been efficient, making the job painstaking—carefully remove anything that didn’t look like a bone and collect it and log the location. Foul play had to be ruled out. It was. His cotton jeans and t-shirt had rotted away as had his skin and organs. At some point his remains slipped from the self-made noose and his body slipped into the creek bed. Small bones such as fingers were difficult to find in the mud and gravel. The bones of his feet were easier—his socks were a synthetic blend that survived, holding them together. When no more could be found, the search stopped and I transported two boxes of bones to the sheriff’s office for preliminary review by the Medical Examiner (ME). At that point it was possible to be detached, almost clinical, in the investigation. Almost.
The ME determined that a large percentage of the bones were there but the skull was missing. It was recovered downstream several days later. As we laid out the bones in the rough shape of a man, the ME made some observations. Bones (a suitable name for our victim) had a broken rib near his heart. It had healed like a blacksmith’s joint where a piece of metal is wrapped around a joint and beaten to tightly hold it together. The joint was large and the rib alignment poor. Doc said this would probably have caused continual pain. His 4th lumbar vertebra had been severely damaged and his body had formed an arthritic bony skirt that extended below the disk and over the top of the 5th lumbar vertebra. Doc said that this would be the cause of even more continuous pain. Other lifestyle clues emerged. Bones was beginning to take on life: he was a young man who lived in constant nagging pain from a damaged and neglected body.
The investigation soon gave Bones a name and filled in details of his all-too-short life. He had early-on engaged in “recreational” drugs because “everyone does it.” He became alienated from his family, his behavior increasingly self-destructive. After a car wreck caused injuries left to heal on their own, his drug use became “medicinal” as he attempted to relieve his constant pain. As his demand for drugs increased, his ability to produce income decreased. He stole from family, friends, and strangers, lost jobs as tools “disappeared” when he was around: he became a petty criminal. He was no longer able to function as a productive citizen or even an intelligent criminal.
At some point the increase in pain and decrease in drug effectiveness intersected and he decided to take his own life, a life that was without value to him. An ironic twist is that the investigative team probably cared more about him throughout the investigation than he did about himself in the final days of his life. He took his extension cord to the woods, near a residential area—near his own home. There he died alone and unloved—at least in his own mind.
I will not debate the pros and cons of drug use and abuse, either prescription meds or illegal/quasi-legal street drugs. This is not about that. I will not debate access, of lack of it, to medical attention. This is not about that. This is about self-destructive behavior that is the result of poor personal choices fueled by an “I am in control of my own destiny” mindset. It is about responsible behavior.
This is an individual case. It is real. You might rationalize that it can’t happen to you or a loved one—even as you may recognize the symptoms of a downward spiral in their behavior—or yours. Once begun it is hard to reverse. It is not just drugs and alcohol. It includes the many addictions that destroy rational thinking and productive behavior. It is about friends rejected and “friends” who would help destroy you even as they destroy themselves. Some helpful programs exist that are caring and designed to encourage and empower, to overcome addiction and all that goes with it. But ultimately the cure rests upon the individual, the individual burdened with chemical, physical, emotional, and relational addictions that the unknowing can barely imagine.
But there is an answer. Don’t leave me now—this is the best part. We can’t help Bones. But there is serious help for you right now. Jesus said, “Come unto me, all ye that labor and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you, and learn of me; for I am meek and lowly in heart: and ye shall find rest unto your souls” (Matthew 11:27-29). Let me break that down:
1) Come unto me—that is you and me. All of us that God created. In another place He said, “For God so loved the world (that’s you and me), that He gave His only begotten Son (that’s Jesus), that whosoever (that’s you and me again) believeth in Him should not perish, but have everlasting life (we are not taken out of our world when we accept Him, but He gives us the strength to overcome the old world when we do)” (John 3:16)
2) all ye that labor and are heavy laden—this is not just jobs and work, but the burdens of our mind, the doubts and fears, the pain and hurt.
3) I will give you rest—this is not a maybe, a sort-of: He does give each of us emotional and mental rest that leads to an inner peace that you often see in some Christians who just seem to stand out, not because of what they say, but of how they live. But—and this is important—this promise comes with requirements.
4) Take my yoke upon you, and learn of Me; for I am meek and lowly in heart. His yoke is simply deciding to accept Him as your personal Savior. Not as a “fox-hole Christian” who is a saint today and a haint tomorrow when the pain is less. Accepting Him is just the beginning. By aligning yourself with a Bible-teaching church, and personal Bible study, we learn of Him. Through prayer we develop a personal relationship with Him, a friendship where He is the leader and we are the follower. He will never leave you. You can ignore Him. Others can discourage you. Life may seem about to overcome you. But He is only a prayer away. Believing in His saving power in your own life and learning about Him is called faith. He says he is meek and lowly. We would say that He picks His battles. The enemy is not our friends and family that love us (even if they have a real problem understanding where we are coming from), but those who try to keep us in the same sewer where they live. You can defeat that enemy by prayer and the friendship and support of Christian friends. One of the benefits of salvation is that Jesus gives us a powerful ally—the Holy Spirit—to actually live within us and give us power to live the life that He wants us to live—for our own good. It’s not boring. It’s not quiet and passive. It is more exciting than any drug-induced trip or any daredevil activity can possibly be. And there are no downers, no hangovers.
5) Now comes the promise: ye SHALL find rest unto your souls. No holding back. No “do this, do that, do the other.” Accept Him as your Savior and being to learn who He is and how He wants you to live, and He WILL give you rest in your heart and mind and soul.
The world doesn’t go away. As we said at the beginning of this story, actions have consequences. What has been done will still have to be dealt with. But through His power and your obedience to Him, life can be taken head-on with a joy that is not a feeling but an understanding deep within that becomes action.
Your life is not about statistics and studies, not about the odds. The odds are certain that each and every one of us will die. All of us. Your life is about how you live, and that is your choice. Make it hard and useless, full of pain and heartbreak, or join with the Creator of the universe and live the life He intends for you.